All I wanted to do on the 21st was to go to the crash site. In the days after the crash, the NTSB workers offered to show family members the wreckage. A few people went, but I could not.
I've played that denial card to varying degrees for far too long. And so one year later, I wanted to stand in that very spot at 4:09 PM MST. I wanted to see it for myself, and let reality sink in.
The drive to the airport was sweet. I laughed as I realized none of my makeup was waterproof.
When we got there, I looked at those rocks first. To this day, I don't understand why they are there. It's been explained that their purpose is to reinforce the dirt road. Genius, right?
And then I turned to my left and saw it.
I looked over at runway 3-6 and couldn't help but feel proud of him.
Ben really had been just a few feet shy of a different outcome. He loved when he could "paint the lines" on the runway with his landing gear. He'd post video on FB of those smooth, centered landings. This could have been one of them. But it wasn't.
Sometimes engine failure, a faulty fuel line, an unexpected headwind, and some up-sloped rocks prove to be too much.
I will always be grateful that I was able to go to the site one year later. It was one of those few clear moments in life. Those moments when I knew without doubt that I was supposed to be exactly where I was, exactly when I was there.
And when we got in the car to leave for the cemetery, I couldn't help but smile more...
Forever it's you, forever in me. Ever the same.
I've played that denial card to varying degrees for far too long. And so one year later, I wanted to stand in that very spot at 4:09 PM MST. I wanted to see it for myself, and let reality sink in.
The drive to the airport was sweet. I laughed as I realized none of my makeup was waterproof.
When we got there, I looked at those rocks first. To this day, I don't understand why they are there. It's been explained that their purpose is to reinforce the dirt road. Genius, right?
And then I turned to my left and saw it.
I looked over at runway 3-6 and couldn't help but feel proud of him.
Ben really had been just a few feet shy of a different outcome. He loved when he could "paint the lines" on the runway with his landing gear. He'd post video on FB of those smooth, centered landings. This could have been one of them. But it wasn't.
Sometimes engine failure, a faulty fuel line, an unexpected headwind, and some up-sloped rocks prove to be too much.
I will always be grateful that I was able to go to the site one year later. It was one of those few clear moments in life. Those moments when I knew without doubt that I was supposed to be exactly where I was, exactly when I was there.
And when we got in the car to leave for the cemetery, I couldn't help but smile more...
Forever it's you, forever in me. Ever the same.
2 comments:
beautiful post. I love that last picture! what are the odds, right? Totally inspired. :O)
thank you for sharing.
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