I've found a renewed appreciation for August this year. Ben was born in this month, and I'm eternally grateful for that. It has been full of enlightening, intuitive experiences. Too many and too personal to blog about, but fulfilling and amazing nonetheless.
So this morning several people informed me that today is national "I Love You" day. 8/31...8 letters, 3 words, 1 meaning...I love you. How darling is that?! I know it's not official, but I adore it. It makes me wish I knew this while Ben was still here. I would have done something to celebrate it. We didn't like the mainstream cheesiness of Valentine's Day. Ben would have went along with me, for sure.
I saw a huge spider today..inside! Killed it, dead. Actually it was a team effort. Yays for my Dyson, and my mom for lugging it upstairs. I totally pressed the power button. But I have killed many spiders allll by myself. I'm sure I make Ben proud. Or at the very least, he's just happy that I don't shriek like a priss about them anymore.
Speaking of bugs... I was working on a cute friend's blog. Can you believe she wants me to help set it up (like I know what I'm doing?)?? Love her! I was looking for dragonfly images, since she loves them. I came across this one (found here)...
At first I couldn't decide if it was cute or gross.
I've concluded that it's mostly cute. :)
I saw a quote the other day that I know he would have liked. No. Correction. I saw a quote that I know he likes.
"I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy." -Rabindranath Tagore
Ben knew this all too well. He wore himself out in service to others. He gave of himself quietly, and without question or expectation. And now as people remember him, this is what sticks out clearest in their minds. No one has doubted how much he loves them. In this respect, I want to be like more like him.
To this point, this entire experience has changed my perspective tremendously. It has given me a level of empathy that I may not have understood as deeply otherwise. If I can someday emerge as something better than before, then none of these tears will have been wasted. Maybe that will be my silver lining....
I love Ben.
That is all.
I saw a huge spider today..inside! Killed it, dead. Actually it was a team effort. Yays for my Dyson, and my mom for lugging it upstairs. I totally pressed the power button. But I have killed many spiders allll by myself. I'm sure I make Ben proud. Or at the very least, he's just happy that I don't shriek like a priss about them anymore.
Speaking of bugs... I was working on a cute friend's blog. Can you believe she wants me to help set it up (like I know what I'm doing?)?? Love her! I was looking for dragonfly images, since she loves them. I came across this one (found here)...
At first I couldn't decide if it was cute or gross.
I've concluded that it's mostly cute. :)
I saw a quote the other day that I know he would have liked. No. Correction. I saw a quote that I know he likes.
"I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy." -Rabindranath Tagore
Ben knew this all too well. He wore himself out in service to others. He gave of himself quietly, and without question or expectation. And now as people remember him, this is what sticks out clearest in their minds. No one has doubted how much he loves them. In this respect, I want to be like more like him.
To this point, this entire experience has changed my perspective tremendously. It has given me a level of empathy that I may not have understood as deeply otherwise. If I can someday emerge as something better than before, then none of these tears will have been wasted. Maybe that will be my silver lining....
I love Ben.
That is all.
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