16 February 2011

Mountain Goat

So, remember back (3 days ago) when I posted about Sophie's shiner, and how she inherited my clumsiness. It got me thinking....

I am painfully clumsy. I don't even try to play it off or excuse it.

I keep remembering the first time Ben and I went hiking together. It was at the end of May 2003, and he was dropping his sister off at West Yellowstone. She had got a job at Old Faithful. He had picked me up along the way; any excuse to spend time together. (He wrote Lindsay about it.)

Anyway... While she was at orientation we went for a walk. We happened upon a rocky spot with huge boulders, and immediately Ben wanted climb them.

I remember not feeling very surefooted, and blaming my Roxy sneakers. [Cringe.] But of course Ben was a different story. I tried to hide my awe as I watched him jump from rock to rock like it was effortless. I teased him about being a mountain goat. He smiled. It was cute...

Eventually, we got to the top of one of those boulders. He wanted me to sit with him close to the edge. Have I mentioned how much I hate heights? It was maybe a 30 ft drop, so I insisted on sitting in the center of the boulder. He reluctantly compromised.

I felt silly, and over exposed. What could he possibly be thinking of me? He was adorably agile, and I was just a mess. What if we were too different?

And yet, none of that mattered to him. My flaws had somehow become endearing, redeemable qualities.

I miss that.
I miss him.

I love Ben.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

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Unknown said...

Kyle tells our kids, when we go to the mountains that there are MOUNTAIN cows, horses, and goats, and that 1 side of there LEGS are LONGER then the other, to keep them from falling off the side of the mountain. The kids are now 10,and 7 and KNOW better, but still play along b/c they think its funny.