100 Years

It's the title of a song.

Whenever I would hear this song, I would fondly think of all that life had in store for Ben and me.

• Having babies...
• Watching these beautiful girls grow up...
• Ben taking the girls hiking, camping, fly fishing, etc... (And all while Jocee screams her head off! A tomboy, she in not!)
• Celebrating their every milestone together...
• Buying our first home..
• Buying and/or building our dream home...
• Traveling when we would eventually get the time, money, & pilot benefits...
• Sleeping in when all of our kids went off to college...
• Becoming grandparents...

(Not to mention all the little plans we had for the coming days, weeks, & months.)

These plans are now interrupted. To say they are completely ruined, for me would imply a sense of hopelessness.

I've always been the kind of person who likes to live in the future. I like to plan. I like to have goals to strive for and anticipate. The "5-year-plan" is something I'm all too familiar with. Although none of these "plans" have ever entirely come to fruition, I would continue to make them anyway. Having some direction is better than none at all.

For the first time in my life, I am not making any real plans. I am really only able to live in the present. Right here and right now is all that I can control. It is all that really matters.

I will not think of how I will get through this next week, month, year, or five years.
Right now is all that matters.
Right now, I will get a glass of water.