Four year olds don't get sweeter than this!

Umm...  This is an old, old draft.  I think I meant to upload pictures to it and forgot.  It made me laugh :)

She never forgets...
Jocee: Mommy, I'm glad you don't wear socks anymore.
Me: It's too hot for socks right now.
Jocee: No, you can't wear them. They're not good for you.
Me: [I just turned and looked at her, confused.]
Jocee: Remember, Mommy?? You fell.
Me: I didn't fall...
Jocee: Your socks were making you slip everywhere. So when you got me my milk you slipped across the floor and fell like, that [smacking the table for emphasis]. Over there...[pointing to the family room].
Me: Oh, that. You still remember that??
Jocee: [Nodding her head] You falled and slided. You screamed a little bit, too. Like, 'Eeee!'

Note: That was months ago; maybe March. She must think of me in the most flattering light. ;)


She's such a back seat driver!
Jocee: "Mommy! Red light! STOP!!"
Me: "Joce, I will when I get to there. It's far away."
Jocee: "Ooh! Hehe! Sorry!"
[Pause]
Jocee: "It just turned green! Don't stop!"
Me: "How's that Princess book you're not reading??"

She is always so forgiving.
Like the other day when I was getting ready to leave... Both girls where following me from one room to another. They wanted to "help" clean, put makeup on with me, and just be underfoot.

My patience was lacking, and I had been raising my voice too much. I started to feel bad.

Me: "Jocee, I'm sorry for being cranky. I haven't been very nice today. I will be nicer."
Jocee: "No, Mommy. You're nice of all."
Me: "Not today.."
Jocee: "There is nicer, nicest, and nice of all. You, are the nice of ALLLL."


She is fashion conscious.
Jocee: "Is this string supposed to be my sleeve?"
Me: "Yes...it's a strap. That's a tank top."
Jocee: "But it's so teeny..."
Me: "Do you not like it?"
Jocee: "Could you not buy me a sleeve?"

She sees the best in people.
Like when she introduces me to her little friends at the park...
"This is my Mommy. Her name is Ginny. Isn't she soo pretty?"


I love my Jocee M.

No.

Does this look like "random pictures of people at walmart"??

.....

I know! Right?

People, Google something more worthwhile.
Walmart lowers your IQ 10 points.

What have I been up to??

Hi, friends!!

I'm still alive! Shocker, huh?? I bet you thought I'd never post again, didn't you??!

Let's play catchup! And maybe I'll post in more detail later. (No promises! :))

In September Jocee started preschool!
+
She loves it, and has made a lot of friends. Everyday she begs me to practice writing with her, and can sound words out like a pro. At parent-teacher conference her teacher complimented me on working with her. But I really can't take the credit. She is so eager to learn.

October was fun.

Clearly I've been rockin' at this single mom business.

I jumped out of a Twin Otter with Hawt Guy again.

It was so much more fun the second time!! Everyone needs to do it...twice! And I've decided I need to get certified. Need. Soon.

On the 21st I flew away to Loma Linda (and San Diego). I just fit there.

And vegan cousins and funny aunts make for good distractions.
Side Note: If you're in an airport (like T.F. Green on October 21st) and you go to Starbucks...and order a soy chai latte and a fruit cup..it just might cost you...

LOVE :)

November was kind of unbloggable.

Buggy turned 3!! (I.O.U: 1 blog post!)
But I spent a lot of that time proactively worrying about her. It's all good now though! So, yay!!

I learned more uses for turmeric.

Seriously, try this! It's ahhmazing!

After being Supermom I went to my 10 year high school reunion.

Not my most photogenic night, but such a good one! After 10 years, 2 kids, and bucket loads of crapola, everyone thought I looked the same! Woot!


Oh...and the biggest reason why I haven't blogged...
I went back to school! Started in August.

12 credits: DONE! And I'm scheduled to graduate in less that two years. (Thennn I need a Master's.) So excited!

Ok, ok... So that and I've been pinning.

Best vision board ever!



So that's what I've been up to.
2011 really has been a good year.
I'll post more later.

I've missed you guys!!
xoxo

Did I get demoted??

I keep getting mail addressed to, Ms. Ginny Hill.

What's the deal??

Just because Hubby is on The Other Side, doesn't mean I'm a Mszzzz!

"Ms." is for...

1. Young single women who grew into...older single women (and willingly opted out of "Miss").
   
2. Neo-femi-nazis who don't want to change their last names after sealing the deal. It's all the rage.
   
3. And now widows??
   

WTFreak?


On a happy note...
Jocee got accepted to my top choice for preschool!
She is soo excited!

(And so I will shrug that envelope addressed to Ms. Ginny Hill off.)

If a Ms. is what I am now...I will rock it.

:)

Because I don't really blog anymore...

I've been super busy, and I don't even want to blog about it.

This is my first time even logging into blogger all week.
See? Busy. But who isn't??

Hmm...how about an unflattering update?? ;)

On my hair...
It's way too short right now! I love the cut, but it's about two inches too short all over. If anyone has any ideas for growing hair out, please tell me about them! Please. I've added Biotin and silica to the my supplement regimen. I'm using a hair growth shampoo (I know! Probably a gimmick!). And I'm avoiding my straightener like the plague. (Sad face!)

On my complexion...
I'm really glad that the cystic planet that showed up on the side of my nose earlier this week, is almost gone now. Yay for salicylic acid! It was practically casting it's own shadow. I even contemplated renting out add space on it. Your local business would have gotten LOTS of exposure. ;)

On Big Foot sightings...
You would not believe the skeeze factor that has been seeking me out. OR how painfully naive I am! I'll take 90% of the blame on this one! It's foolish to think that members of the opposite sex, who spam your inbox and FB wall and ask for your number, just want something platonic. And then when there's mention of going to the beach sometime, because the beaches would love me... Yeah. Stop trying to picture me in a bikini!! (Patti Stanger would have a ton to say about that freak show.)
Super grateful to the friends who posed an intervention! Love you girls!!
Lesson learned: When faced with a Sasquatch, avoid friendly conversation.

On the weather...
I went to Walmart yesterday for some last minute essentials (i.e. my two week supply of water). The things I saw other people buy made me laugh, and prompted this status: "Milk, bread, popsicles, ice cream, microwave popcorn, Slim Jims, Diet Coke... I am so ready for this biatch!!"

On my BFFs...
T. Thorpe and some other favorites, didn't get that status. Within minutes she texted...
"How are u going to pop popcorn??"
Then...
"Oh wait, generator??"
Then when she realized that those are all foods I wouldn't eat ever, we went back and forth trying to think of even grosser, more random foods that the people of Walmart might stock up on for a natural disaster. Love her! And clearly my blonde moments are contagious! I felt just a little misunderstood. hehe :)

On my babes...
Just because I adore them, and there's nothing unflattering about them, and this post could use some of their sweetness...


Welcome to my silly life. :)

xo

Nothing made him happier.

He'd gush to anyone who would listen. He'd tell you how much he loved being a dad, how it was the best thing to ever happen to him, how he had the sweetest girls ever.

I took this one on Terisa's wedding day. Jocee was four months old. He was watching her so that I could get ready that morning. They fell asleep watching kiddie shows on PBS.

Jocee was seven months in this one... He had bought her that outfit while I was pregnant, and was so happy when she was old enough to wear it. This was just one of those sweet, lazy Saturday mornings.



Not a Saturday morning. But I remember taking it. Jocee always got so excited when he came home from work.



This was right after we had moved from Lehi to Springville. He had obviously just come home from work. Oh my gosh, how I miss that.

The day after Sophie was born... I have another with Jocee just like it.

I will never stop wishing that they had more time with their Daddy.
One of my main concerns for this life, is that they have a genuine understanding of just how much they are loved, adored, and looked after by him. I will never speak of his love for them in the past tense. This kind of love never goes away.

To: The Best Daddy

There's not a day that goes by that we don't think of you, talk about you, and miss you.

Happy Father's Day!!

We love you always.

Love,
Jocee & Sophie

LOL'ing

I laughed a lot today.

I laughed at myself (and kinda screamed) this morning as a bottle of sparkling water exploded on me. Sophie laughed too... It was awesome.

I laughed when some classy broad flipped my off in Braintree. For the record, I'm not quite sure what I did to make her so angry. But I'll just blame it on her minivan and frizzy hair. I'd be having a bad day too...

I laughed when I asked Jocee why she was in timeout, and her answer was, "Because I don't like it, and you know it." --It's a good thing we talked about it after!

I laughed when Sophie yelled, "Mommy, Mommy! Let down your hair!"

It's her favorite movie, and the only one she'll watch the whole way through. She tells me I'm Rapunzel all the time.

I know! I don't see it either!

But if you're looking for a true likeness, I found this pretty accurate!

Thanks, T.Thorpe!

Oh, and I laughed really hard when I watched this...

Seriously, watch it 5 times. It just gets funnier! The poor kid...

I guess it's story time tonight!

So, I posted the other masterpiece before this one.
Then I checked FB real quick.
Lizzie B's status made me "lol" for real.

"Spilled beef stew ALL OVER the kitchen floor... the dogs are very happy!!"

Then I went and took a shower; and ended up laughing the whole time.
It reminded me of when I was all prego, and got to be clumsy with legit reason too.
And so I'm back!

Story time!!

December 2006
I was six months along with Jocee, and working 50 hours a week. Awesome. Ben only cooked on special occasions, so we ending up getting takeout a lot.

One night we went to Jason's Deli, because all I wanted was their tomato-basil soup. We had rented a movie, and were going to have dinner on the couch. For no real reason, that cup of soup slipped through my hands and sloshed all over the classy turquoise carpeting (turquoise) and down the side of the couch.

I felt lame, and mostly annoyed that I couldn't eat the soup anymore. I remember saying. "Oh my gosh! I am so sorry! I didn't mean to do that at all! WTF??" (Yes, I really said just the letters, "WTF" and not the whole thing.)

Ben: "It's cool, babe. This is totally normal. You're supposed to drop things."
Ginny: "Wait. What??"
Ben: "Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's in that What to Expect book."
Ginny: "How did you know this, and not me??"
Ben: "I don't know. You've been dropping stuff a lot."

Soo...I cleaned the mess while he got me more soup...

THEN...

August 2008
I was five months along with Sophie. Jocee was 15 months old, and always underfoot. I was cleaning the bathroom one morning, while she "helped." I went to screw the cap on the glass bottle of olive oil tighter, when it slipped out of my hands and shattered on the floor.

For maybe three seconds I panicked. Jocee was right next to me with little bare feet, and there was oil and glass all around us. Reflexively I balled my fists and let out a, "Ffffffffuuuu!!!!... Uhhh, hi!"

I had looked down mid F-bomb, and saw her big brown eyes looking up at me. She never heard the word. ;)

For weeks thereafter, Jocee would walk around shaking her fists and say, "Fffffff!!"
It really stuck with her...


Now I don't really have an excuse when I drop things.
But for 18 months of my life..I did!

:)

(Note: I had olive oil in the bathroom because I would use anything and everything to prevent stretch marks; IE: cocoa butter, vitamin E oil, Palmers, Shea butter...anything! I'd just use it all, and baste myself like a turkey twice a day. Maybe that's TMI, but whatev! :))

Only Jocee!

Jocee loves looking through our wedding photos.
I let her see them whenever she asks.
The other day she saw this one, and sighed...

Jocee: Oh, Mommy! That was when you and Daddy had your wedding...
Mommy: Yep, it is.
Jocee: You look so beautiful, Mommy! Like a princess!
Mommy: Really?? Thank you, Chicky. Which one? Cinderella?
Jocee: No, Sleeping Beauty! Why didn't Flora turn your dress pink?
Mommy: Umm... I wanted it to be white.
Jocee: You should have let her make it pink for you. Don't let Maryweather make it blue. K?
Mommy: I promise I won't.


I love the way that girly girl thinks.
:)

Mommy things I hope to never forget

Jocee
The shrill of her first cry.
How she hated to be swaddled.
Her chubby little legs.

Those big, brown doe eyes.

Her inherent love for music.

How eye contact was usually all it took to get her smiling. And a smile could make her giggle.

How her eyes would always follow me, if I wasn't holding her.

How "Mama" was her very first word.

That mild French accent she used when she first started talking.

How she'd beg us to sing with her as soon as she learned a song (like Itsy Bitsy Spider or ABCs). She still does that... :)


Sophie
The tenor of her first cry.
How she loved being swaddled.
How she was all feet when she was born.

That first moment when I recognized that she looked just like Daddy (at two weeks old).

How she'd babble herself to sleep.
How she adored her crib and naps.

How we could watch her study things intently, and know that she'd be a deep thinker.

How she sticks her tongue out, whenever she's lost in thought.

How she has always been the cuddliest.



I love those babies. Sometimes I kind of miss them.

My Two Girls

So, I have these two girls...

They love to shop.

They both know exactly what they want, every single time.

One little chicky always gravitates towards reptiles (I.E. snakes, frogs, lizards, dinosaurs--whatever!) without fail.

And if I happen to lose track of the other...

She comes equipped with pink radar.

If there's any pink to be had, she'll find it.



Anyway, they're the sweetest that I know!
:)

Love.

The Jocee Quirks

It's so hard to believe that the perfect (not so) little 8 lb, 11 oz baby girl who turned me into a mother, is 4 years old today! Watching her grow into herself is complete joy. There are so many qualities that are unique to her.

And so, here is a list of my very favorite "Jocee Quirks"...
:)

• Jocee loves the dark. Nothing about it scares her. She refuses to sleep with a nightlight on.

• She loves music more than anyone I know. She sings all day long.
  

• She can recall song lyrics perfectly after hearing a song just once. In fact, she's better at this than I am! I have to be extra mindful when the radio is on, because she rarely ever gets words wrong. :)

• Just like Daddy, Jocee is becoming a trivia master. She soaks in all the little facts that she learns, and shocks people with how much she knows about something random.
  

• She is determined to learn how to use chopsticks perfectly. She tries using them when eating anything (even snow... :)).
  

• She is a total backseat driver! She has an opinion to share with whomever is driving. Haha!

• She is acutely observant! Absolutely nothing gets past her, and she's always willing to call people out. :)
  

• This sweet girl is resilient; perhaps the most resilient person I know. She has lost so much, and seems to understand far more than someone her age should have to. And yet she handles it all with astounding maturity and patience.
  

Oh, how I love this girl! She has added such dimension and meaning to my life. The opportunity to be her mother is an absolute blessing. There aren't words enough to express my gratitude for her.


Happy birthday, Jocelyn Michelle!!
Mommy & Daddy love you!

"Look, Mommy! I'm really stronger!"

Gotta love that sweet, patient cat...

But I love my girls more!

Shiner

Short story, shorter:
Sophie has inherited Mommy's clumsiness, and definitely not Daddy's cat-like reflexes.

Poor Buggy!

Team Work

I love when I hear giggling in the next room, and find something like this...

These little chickies can be resourceful!

And just for the record, they didn't have any help from Mommy.


So lucky to have them!

:)

25 Ben Things

Sometimes when I miss him extra, I'll go and read his FB profile. More often than not, it makes me laugh.

I've thought I should post his "25 random things" note for a while. It's totally Ben summed up in his own words. Priceless stuff.

And that whole copy&paste thing makes for an easy post. :)

I never read these things, or reply to them, but my wife would be so happy if I do, so I will do it.

1. Rule #1: Don’t trust anybody. The only exception to this rule is with family, and some close friends. This is not the paranoid untrusting (that’s another trait), but more in the sense that you can’t trust people to look out for anyone but themselves; and you are the only person that will genuinely do what is best for you and yours every time.
2. I am a complete cheap skate. If it isn’t on sale, closeout, overstock, or somehow the cheapest it can be possibly be found, I won’t buy it.
3. I really, genuinely, and with all sincerity…..don’t care about things that are not my responsibility. Apathy is the name of the game. I care deeply about my family and friends, but outside of that, I don’t give a rats. Don’t ask me to join a cause or crusade to save this, or help that, or vote for this or that. Please stop the Facebook invites.
4. I trout religiously. I have loved fishing as long as I can remember. In fact one of my earliest memories is of my dad taking me fishing; I think I was three or so. I had a clear fiberglass rod (the hexagonal kind) and I rallied a little Onchoryncus on a rooster tail spinner. I slipped into the water while fighting it, but I didn’t care. I keep a rod and reel in my car, just in case I get a chance.
5. I hate heat. I would rather it be -20 than anything over 80 degrees.
6. I love Utah, I really do. Now that it has been 17 years I don’t think of Oregon as home at all.
7. I find it funny how people think my job is so cool for all the wrong reasons. I love it because after 7 hours in the air dealing with those things that only another pilot would understand; Lockheed Martin FSS, trainee controllers, foreign students making 8 minute long flight following requests to the wrong freq while you are passing your IAF in actual without clearance, “unverified” traffic 12 o’clock opposite direction 2 miles; after all that kind of crap I get to watch sun go down on the snow covered Wasatch from 16,000 feet; no camera can take that picture.
8. I am not a democrat, I am not a republican, I am an American and I want my country back.
9. I am paranoid; it is a family trait. I will peek through the blinds at somebody parking across the street, even if I know who they are. When somebody knocks on the door, my first thought is “where is a gun?” not “Am I wearing pants?”
10. I hold a concealed firearm permit, and carry my pistol every day. I do so not so much because of number 9, but more because I firmly believe in the only valuable lesson I learned from the boy scouts, their motto.
11. I am mathematically challenged. Time, distance, and fuel burn I can do in my head quick and easy. Addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division I am ok with. Anything else, no good.
12. I keep titanium close to my heart
13. I am very interested in history. I am constantly amazed at how human kind as a whole fails to learn the lessons of the past.
14. Musically, I am very non-experimental. I can have the same CD in my car player for months and not get sick of it. Since about September it has been a compilation of Apocalyptica.
15. Books, oh man books. I haven’t had the time to read a book in months and its starting to drive me crazy. I will usually read a book and then give it away, only a few rare books have I read more than once.
16. I never give respect, no matter who the person is. My respect must be earned.
17. The best compliment I have ever been given was to be called articulate.
18. I remember details. I can quote books word for word, but probably could not tell you what part of the book it was from, sometimes not even what book it came from. Though I can tell you whether it was on the left or right page and if it was top, middle, or bottom of the page.
19. Mountains; something in me must have them.
20. I am a procrastinator when it comes to school work. I can’t do anything until the deadline looms.
21. I have been accused of being a good friend; showing up to help someone move, helping out when someone is in a bind, even burying one.
22. I love my brothers and sisters; they are some of my best friends.
23. When I found out I would be the father of a little girl the first thing I did was buy a shotgun; keep the boys at bay.
24. My daughters are the most incredible little girls. I love them heart and soul. If my Jocee cries, I cry. If my Sophie is sick, I cry. If I am away for more than a few hours I miss them terribly. It makes me so happy to see the way they react when I come home. Jocee is in a bad mood if she hasn’t had enough dad time in a day. Sophie smiles when I talk to her. They are my life’s greatest accomplishment.
25. My Ginny is my best friend.

Sooo...yes, I did use some of those things for that 30th birthday post. But I would have included them anyway! He just said them better. :)

Stream of Consciousness: Dec

I've been super all-over-the-place lately. Is it obvious?? Soo this will be extra random.

It's so crazy that tomorrow is New Year's Eve already...

I am so so sick of snow. What can be good about anything cold and wet?? Someday I'll move somewhere where it never ever snows, and I'll never ever miss it. I just wasn't meant to live in a cold climate.

Jocee and Sophie have LOVED it this year though. I need to post about that. They are the cutest. Sometimes I wish they'd never grow up. I'm so lucky to be their mom. :) In my limited mommy experience, I've decided that 3 1/2 is my favorite age.

An old friend from high school emailed me today and took credit for that drawing I posted earlier! We still don't remember who The Kid was. But we decided that she drew it during 10th grade English class. I had braces then... Oh, and he had to be in a different grade too. But that's all we got!

I think it's funny how one of my best friends and I weren't even friends in high school. We had a lot of the same classes, and some of the same friends. But coincidentally we probably never said two words to each other. I have this one memory of her telling our 10th grade Biology teacher that her then boyfriend was going to make a six-figure salary once he got his Bachelor's. I thought to myself, "That girl is so not going to be with that guy by then. And he could totally change his major and do something else..." Ha! I have no idea what he does now, but I'm pretty sure I was right.
Love her! She deserves her own post!

I watched "Maid in Manhattan" tonight and cringed the whole time! I still can't believe Ben sat through that. I can't believe I sat through that, or even invited him to watch it with us. I must have looked really cute that night, or something... It makes me happy that, the post gets the most hits. It was the start of a lot of good things. :)

Oh, Christmas wasn't as awful as I thought it would be... I think of how and where I was this time last year, and I shutter. I'm grateful to be one year removed from it.

And really... I know I post about this a lot, but Ben is still the sweetest. I don't care how skeptical most people can be. Those little reminders I always get made December better.


That is all for now.

xo

Here's The Deal

Back in the beginning of 2009, I wanted to start a blog. But I didn't know what I'd write about or if it would be anything anyone else would care to read. But that part didn't matter.

All I knew was that I did not want to be one of those stereotypical Utah moms. You know, the ones with those braggy blogs, all about how awesome their lives are? Read between the lines and they're just laughable.

In February I approached Ben about starting one. Usually he'd mention those blogs and easily talk me out of it. But this time I was surprised by how encouraging he was. He even came up with the URL. Yes, I know it's sickeningly cliche but he was being supportive, so I went with it.

Eight months later Ben died, and for a while I contemplated getting rid of it entirely.

Several people encouraged me to write as much as I could about him while memories were fresh; mainly for Jocee and Sophie. I agreed. But that seemed like such a daunting task. Each time I sat down and looked at the blank paper, all I could do was write a disjointed, tear-drenched letter to him.

But that blog was still up... The computer screen wasn't nearly as intimidating. I still had plans of someday printing those earlier entries for Jocee and Sophie to have. Memories of Daddy would make it meaningful, and someday prove invaluable.

As support from others quickly dwindled, I was left with essentially no one to talk to. If I was expected to act like nothing happened, I could blindly display my feelings somewhere else. The rejection would be more palatable if it was indirect.

So the blog stayed.

And here it is, 1 year, 1 week, & 4 days after that little world of mine imploded.

And here we are... My girls still need stories of their daddy, and they will throughout their entire lives. They will know that their daddy loves them, everyday that we are apart. They will know that he is just as real and alive now, as he was then. So as long as these memories surface, I will share them. Because really, at the end of the day I write this blog for them.

And me? I'm not even close to the woman I want to be yet. Me growing into me, could be entertaining. And even if it's not...whatev!

This blog is here to stay.

xo