On being a hypocrite...

Since I've already owned up to being one, I figured I may as well go all the way. ;)

Here's the backup story...

Before I graduated high school, I had never been west of the Mississippi, ever (unless you count moving from SLC when I was two).

Most people go to school for an education, but me? I'm not really sure what I was doing back then. So, I decided to go to school in Idaho. I'd never been to Idaho before. And all those things I heard about Idaho being boring couldn't be all true.

When we landed in SLC, I was in love. Mountains are even prettier in person, and dry heat was a new concept. My hair was doing amazing things.

Then we had to drive to Rexburg. I was totally excited. But...as we got closer and closer, the landscape became more and more desolate looking. The biggest store in town was the smallest Walmart I'd ever been to. Instead of trees, there was sage brush, everywhere. I even teared up a little when I saw my first tumbleweed.

Really, Idaho wasn't that bad. I met lots of fun people, and had fun doing the most random things. People actually jump off of bridges for fun there, and the sand dunes were like the beach minus water. Yellowstone is super close. It was good to break out of my comfort zone.

But like most out of state students, I would become nostalgic and miss familiar things. (So lame!)

I would talk up Bean Town like it was the best place ever, and at the time I genuinely believed it was. For me, Idaho never felt quite right.

Fast forward to today...

While the three of us were playing outside; drenched in bug repellent with gnats flying in our faces, as trees were covering a perfectly good sunset like this one...

It hit me.

I was such a hypocrite!

Back when I was sugar coating New England, did I ever mention this? Did I mention how gross and oppressive humidity can feel? Or how the drivers are some of the biggest DBs you'll never meet? Or how I fully agree with GQ? (Of course not!)

Because now when I feel nostalgic, I really miss things out west (minus Idaho). I miss dry heat, and open skies. I miss sandstone, and mountains. I even miss Yellowstone sometimes.


But really, I'm not saying that "there" is any better than "here" (even though sometimes I might feel that way). I am openly admitting that each place has it's perks and pitfalls.

It's funny knowing that my opinions can be so opposite, 10 years later. So while I'm feeling (extra) honest I'll eat those bitter words, too!

The end. :)


(Ahh...I feel better now ;))

xo

LOL'ing

I laughed a lot today.

I laughed at myself (and kinda screamed) this morning as a bottle of sparkling water exploded on me. Sophie laughed too... It was awesome.

I laughed when some classy broad flipped my off in Braintree. For the record, I'm not quite sure what I did to make her so angry. But I'll just blame it on her minivan and frizzy hair. I'd be having a bad day too...

I laughed when I asked Jocee why she was in timeout, and her answer was, "Because I don't like it, and you know it." --It's a good thing we talked about it after!

I laughed when Sophie yelled, "Mommy, Mommy! Let down your hair!"

It's her favorite movie, and the only one she'll watch the whole way through. She tells me I'm Rapunzel all the time.

I know! I don't see it either!

But if you're looking for a true likeness, I found this pretty accurate!

Thanks, T.Thorpe!

Oh, and I laughed really hard when I watched this...

Seriously, watch it 5 times. It just gets funnier! The poor kid...

In between the lines

(NOTE: This is another old draft. I'm really good at starting posts and not quite finishing them. But every once in a while I either delete them, or upload them. So...here!)

The other day I was talking to a good friend about how human interaction works. First there are the words exchanged. I like to call that the superficial conversation. Then there's the real conversation; voice inflection, body language...all that nonverbal stuff.

I really hate when those two parts don't add up. Like when you think you're having one conversation, but really it morphs into something entirely different. It makes me wish people could be genuine all the time.

MA definitely gets one point for realness. People are just naturally more honest, and blunt here. It's refreshing. But there's always room for error...

Story time!

Ginny: Hi, I'm calling to schedule an appointment for a my daughter.
Receptionist: Okay, is she sick?
G: No, just a well checkup. She's two, and a new patient. I actually have two chickies that I'll be bringing here.
R: Then I need information from you first.
G: K, shoot!
R: What insurance do you have?
G: [Gulp. Cringe] The ghetto kind.
R: Hm..lazy. Okay... I need some number off the card...
G: Oh, I gotta find it real quick. Sorry! I'm a total scatterbrain... Okay! Here it is...xxxxxx.
R: Okay, now info on both children?
G: Blah, blah, blah...
R: Two young kids close in age, huh? Ghetto insurance, huh? Do you all have the same last name?
G: Ugh, YES! If I was in Utah you would assume better, and not even ask me that.
R: Now I need emergency contacts.
G: *my info*
R: That's just one. I need two people.
G: Seriously??
R: Yes....
G: [Cringe] Hmm... *my mom's info*
R: Is this Grandma??
G: Yup, but don't call her that.
R: And you live with her?
G: BOTH parents, yes. I know what you're thinking! Stop it!
R: [Sighhhh] When you come in you need to have the insurance card with you, and both of their medical records.
G: I don't have medical records...
R: Well, we need at least the immunization records so we know what shots to give.
G: Ya know what? I know you're annoyed. I get it. But I don't like it....so I'm pulling it!!---- I was widowed, and we've moved a lot this year. You have nooo idea. So maybe I should have records, but I do not.
R: Oh, so you're actually one of those people "the system" wants to be helping.... I get it! I'll be nice now! ---Totally take your time! If you don't mind having the other pediatrician fax immunization records that would be great. No pressure though.
G: Yeah, see that? I won't be white trash forever! And I'll spend extra time making myself look pretty so that I don't look trashy when I come in with my ridiculously cute baby. See ya next week! ecks, oh!

The end.

(Disclaimer: The thing is....I wrote this one before the appointment. I kinda, sorta feel bad because they were all so sweet and understanding when I took Sophie in. And they were so good with her, too. Buggy didn't cry at all, and loves the new doctor and nurse....and fish tank in the waiting room. I am absolutely grateful to have found them.)

The RMV

(NOTE: This is an old draft from mid December. I was clearing out my drafts folder, and decided to post it. I haven't quite finished it, but if I don't upload it now I probably never will.)

I had waited until the last possible day to get my UT plates changed. I got my number and sat down; only 5 people before me, and an open seat. Yays! I looked down at the death certificate, and covered it with another paper. No one needed to know or feel bad.

As I looked looked through my purse for my chap stick, I heard the cutest Irish accent just a few feet away. I looked over at a sweet older Irish lady talking to a younger girl. She was briefly explaining where she was from, and asked the young girl about herself.

The younger girl was 21 and in college. She like really wanted to travel to Ireland someday, and like totally backpack through Europe too. She had been to Spain with friends, and it was awesome. The older lady smiled and nodded as this young girl went onto explain how she to wait until her birthday to get the "over 21" license and a new photo taken. She was like 16 in the old one, and had braces and un-blown-out hair. Awful!

As I listened to her talk, I missed the 21-year-old me. I remembered when I was like her; when I had time to get all dolled up for a DMV photo shoot... Ben married me weeks before I turned 21... Such a sweet time in my life.

Anyway, before long her number was called and she was gone. Minutes after that, the older Irish lady, got up and happily greeted someone she already knew. I thought to myself, "How fun is that? I never run into people I know here!"

As they embraced they both started crying. [By that point the guy next to me was making small talk. It made eavesdropping tricky.] In hushed tones the concerned friend asked how she had been, and apologized for not visiting with her more. That cute Irish lady's husband had recently passed away. She went on to talk about how difficult it had been on her, how much she missed him....and I had to stop listening.

My heart broke for her. For a moment I found it odd that at 27, I probably had more in common with a 60-something, than that 21-year-old girl getting the new license. And then I felt humbled realizing that each of us in that small overcrowded room had likely experienced our own brand of heartache.

I only hope that mine makes me better than I was before.

So over you

This sums my January up.

At the risk of sounding like so many others..I'm ready for it to be done.


:)

It's Official

...and a little bittersweet.
A moment of silence is requested.

:)

Wait. Where am I?

You know you've left Utah, and entered Massachusetts when...

• After leaving for the grocery store, you feel super annoyed that you only had time to put on some tinted moisturizer and mascara. Then when you get there, you're more dressed up than half of the other moms who literally just rolled out of bed.

• Health food stores are far and few between.
  

• You spot girls walking around in frumpy clothes, carrying designer handbags. Coach does not save the outfit. Sorry.

• You wonder why people don't abbreviate or substitute swear words anymore. Oh wait, they never did...

• You wonder why there are reports of great whites when you're landlocked. Oh, that's right. You're not. (Okay, so that's more one my trademark blonde moments, but whatever.)

• You totally forgot you can get fresh seafood here. But being vegan makes it a moot point.
  

• You wonder when drivers got soo inconsiderate and aggressive. Oh wait, they always have been!

• You've replaced "wicked" with words like "super" and "way." I wonder when that word will organically find it's way back into my vocabulary...

The last 10 months, 1 week & 2 days have been the most disorienting that I've ever experienced. I find it laughable at how odd of an adjustment it has been. For now, I blame widow brain.

Or maybe I've been away from MA too long. But 9 years isn't that long. Is it?? And yet, so much happened to me in those 9 years.
It feels so foreign. But my whole life still feels foreign.

I suppose part of me thought that most things would just fall into place. I thought my new normal would be easier to find. I thought I'd feel half better at the 6 month mark. I don't really know what I expected for the 1 year mark, but it's coming up too quickly. I'm no where near where I wanted to be.