Showing posts with label Ben. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ben. Show all posts

18 August 2011

30+2


Bennys,

Thank you for being born 32 years ago.

And thank you for calling Polly back 23 years later.

Thank you for loving all of me.

Thank you for two perfect babies.

Thank you for reminding me that you love me still. I'm sorry I was was a bottomless pit there, for a while...

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Happy birthday.

Love,
Ginnys



17 August 2011

A Typical In-Flight Meal


"It's all about the Hamiltons, baby!"


(Note: If anyone gets this, you are my hero.)

:)

14 August 2011

Ben & Laura

A while back, when my sister knew that I was looking at Ben's FB profile (and laughing), she told me to go look at their wall conversations. Maybe it's only funny if you know how Ben and my sister could be. But I'm posting it here.

:)



Ben >> Laura
And I was like, Yeah Whatever
September 24, 2007 11:25pm

Laura
>> Ben
C.R.E.A.M. cash rules everything around me. dolla dolla bills yall. MONEY, POWER, RESPECT.
September 25,2007 11:37pm
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Ben
>> Laura
"Laura sucks at cars, phones, and black eyes."

Laura is good at adderol.
October 31, 2007 at 11:31pm

Laura >> Ben
hahahahahaha! I FREAKING LOVE YOU MAN.
November 1, 2007 at 11:59 am
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Ben >> Laura
Do we need to take you to Sexburg? My current plane can do it in about an hour an 15 minutes.
November 17, 2007 at 10:04 pm


Laura >> Ben
okay, i'll be there in about an hour and ten.
November 18, 2007 at 1:30 pm
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Laura
>> Ben
it's thanksgiving and you have my family. awesome.
November 22, 2007 at 12:00 pm


Ben >> Laura
They are my family now
November 23, 2007 at 12:12 pm

Laura >> Ben
honestly if you want to be like that, then just be like that okay.
November 25, 2007 at 12:03 pm
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Laura >> Ben
so you have signing time with jocee..as in sign language? wtf is this!
December 15, 2007 at 11:57 am

Ben >> Laura
Sign language for babies. WTF did you think it was?
December 15, 2007 12:48 pm

Laura >> Ben
your status said baby signing time, maybe it should say singing? singing as in sign language yo.
December 16, 2007 9:50 pm

Ben >> Laura
it is SIGNING, as in sign language; are you snorting pixie sticks or something?

December 16, 2007 10:39 pm

Laura >> Ben
pop rocks ben, pixie sticks are for kids.
December 16, 2007 10:41 pm

Ben >> Laura
smoking beer is bad for you as well
December 16, 2007 at 11:51 pm

Laura >> Ben
well i guess it's a good thing I only smoke vodka. didn't you know i was hardcore?
December 17, 2007 at 9:38pm

Laura >> Ben
i'm a lightweight? you wrote on your own wall! hahahahaha!
December 23, 2007 1:37am

Laura >> Ben
howdy ho.
December 23, 2007 at 1:37am
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Ben >> Laura
When the crap are you coming again?
December 26, 2007 at 9:27pm

Laura >> Ben
hey, my plane comes in on january 7 at 4:20, coincidence? i think not.
December 30, 2007 at 3:56pm

Ben >> Laura
Stoner
December 30, 2007 at 10:48pm
----------------------------------------------------------------
Ben >> Laura
Trapped like rats.
February 18, 2007 at 10:51pm
----------------------------------------------------------------
Laura >> Ben
happy birthday yo
August 18, 2008 10:33am
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Ben >> Laura
...and I was like. Yeah whatever.
September 23, 2008 at 9:32am

Laura >> Ben
thank you kind sir.
September 23, 2008 at 11:59am
----------------------------------------------------------------
Laura >> Ben
original gangster, olive garden, orangutan gay, anything you want, but mostly original gangster.
March 15, 2009 at 8:52pm
----------------------------------------------------------------
Laura >> Ben
happy birthday dawg.
August 18, 2009 at 9:38am

It gets sad after that. But I'm keeping this one light.

04 August 2011

Nothing made him happier.

He'd gush to anyone who would listen. He'd tell you how much he loved being a dad, how it was the best thing to ever happen to him, how he had the sweetest girls ever.


I took this one on Terisa's wedding day. Jocee was four months old. He was watching her so that I could get ready that morning. They fell asleep watching kiddie shows on PBS.



Jocee was seven months in this one... He had bought her that outfit while I was pregnant, and was so happy when she was old enough to wear it. This was just one of those sweet, lazy Saturday mornings.



Not a Saturday morning. But I remember taking it. Jocee always got so excited when he came home from work.



This was right after we had moved from Lehi to Springville. He had obviously just come home from work. Oh my gosh, how I miss that.


The day after Sophie was born... I have another with Jocee just like it.




I will never stop wishing that they had more time with their Daddy.
One of my main concerns for this life, is that they have a genuine understanding of just how much they are loved, adored, and looked after by him. I will never speak of his love for them in the past tense. This kind of love never goes away.

01 August 2011

I love August.

It's Ben's birthday month.

And if there's any month in my life worth celebrating, it should be this one. Seriously. Because of that pivotal day in the universe, I got to meet him 23 years (and 4 months) later.

I've been looking at pictures a lot. It brings the memories attached to the moment.


Like one of the first times he took me flying with him....just to show me what he could do. January, 2006. I loved his focus as he went over his checklist, three times before he even got in the cockpit with me. He was so cute when he was serious about something.


Or the time I quickly snapped this one, without him knowing. He was radioing some tower, and looking so happy and in his element. It was the moment when I was sure that he genuinely loved what he did.


Here's a Benny quirk! Whenever he planned on going fly fishing, he'd scout the bugs to see what the fish were eating. (Gross, I know!) Sometimes he'd bring little vials to put them in. That way he could study them and tie a perfect replica. He treated fly tying like a science. I'm sure no one tied them better or caught more fish.
And after being skeezed out...I thought it was adorable for him to be so hardcore about it.



I love him.

27 May 2011

Chicken Scratch



I love when little pieces of Ben surface exactly when I need them.

I've always thought that his handwriting was so cute, so typically masculine, so him.

He always wrote with those felt-tipped pens...

Sheesh, I miss him.


(Note: Kenny was one of Ben's freelance students. Now, we're FB friends.)

Thank you so much, Kenny!

21 January 2011

25 Ben Things

Sometimes when I miss him extra, I'll go and read his FB profile. More often than not, it makes me laugh.

I've thought I should post his "25 random things" note for a while. It's totally Ben summed up in his own words. Priceless stuff.

And that whole copy&paste thing makes for an easy post. :)
I never read these things, or reply to them, but my wife would be so happy if I do, so I will do it.

1. Rule #1: Don’t trust anybody. The only exception to this rule is with family, and some close friends. This is not the paranoid untrusting (that’s another trait), but more in the sense that you can’t trust people to look out for anyone but themselves; and you are the only person that will genuinely do what is best for you and yours every time.
2. I am a complete cheap skate. If it isn’t on sale, closeout, overstock, or somehow the cheapest it can be possibly be found, I won’t buy it.
3. I really, genuinely, and with all sincerity…..don’t care about things that are not my responsibility. Apathy is the name of the game. I care deeply about my family and friends, but outside of that, I don’t give a rats. Don’t ask me to join a cause or crusade to save this, or help that, or vote for this or that. Please stop the Facebook invites.
4. I trout religiously. I have loved fishing as long as I can remember. In fact one of my earliest memories is of my dad taking me fishing; I think I was three or so. I had a clear fiberglass rod (the hexagonal kind) and I rallied a little Onchoryncus on a rooster tail spinner. I slipped into the water while fighting it, but I didn’t care. I keep a rod and reel in my car, just in case I get a chance.
5. I hate heat. I would rather it be -20 than anything over 80 degrees.
6. I love Utah, I really do. Now that it has been 17 years I don’t think of Oregon as home at all.
7. I find it funny how people think my job is so cool for all the wrong reasons. I love it because after 7 hours in the air dealing with those things that only another pilot would understand; Lockheed Martin FSS, trainee controllers, foreign students making 8 minute long flight following requests to the wrong freq while you are passing your IAF in actual without clearance, “unverified” traffic 12 o’clock opposite direction 2 miles; after all that kind of crap I get to watch sun go down on the snow covered Wasatch from 16,000 feet; no camera can take that picture.
8. I am not a democrat, I am not a republican, I am an American and I want my country back.
9. I am paranoid; it is a family trait. I will peek through the blinds at somebody parking across the street, even if I know who they are. When somebody knocks on the door, my first thought is “where is a gun?” not “Am I wearing pants?”
10. I hold a concealed firearm permit, and carry my pistol every day. I do so not so much because of number 9, but more because I firmly believe in the only valuable lesson I learned from the boy scouts, their motto.
11. I am mathematically challenged. Time, distance, and fuel burn I can do in my head quick and easy. Addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division I am ok with. Anything else, no good.
12. I keep titanium close to my heart
13. I am very interested in history. I am constantly amazed at how human kind as a whole fails to learn the lessons of the past.
14. Musically, I am very non-experimental. I can have the same CD in my car player for months and not get sick of it. Since about September it has been a compilation of Apocalyptica.
15. Books, oh man books. I haven’t had the time to read a book in months and its starting to drive me crazy. I will usually read a book and then give it away, only a few rare books have I read more than once.
16. I never give respect, no matter who the person is. My respect must be earned.
17. The best compliment I have ever been given was to be called articulate.
18. I remember details. I can quote books word for word, but probably could not tell you what part of the book it was from, sometimes not even what book it came from. Though I can tell you whether it was on the left or right page and if it was top, middle, or bottom of the page.
19. Mountains; something in me must have them.
20. I am a procrastinator when it comes to school work. I can’t do anything until the deadline looms.
21. I have been accused of being a good friend; showing up to help someone move, helping out when someone is in a bind, even burying one.
22. I love my brothers and sisters; they are some of my best friends.
23. When I found out I would be the father of a little girl the first thing I did was buy a shotgun; keep the boys at bay.
24. My daughters are the most incredible little girls. I love them heart and soul. If my Jocee cries, I cry. If my Sophie is sick, I cry. If I am away for more than a few hours I miss them terribly. It makes me so happy to see the way they react when I come home. Jocee is in a bad mood if she hasn’t had enough dad time in a day. Sophie smiles when I talk to her. They are my life’s greatest accomplishment.
25. My Ginny is my best friend.
Sooo...yes, I did use some of those things for that 30th birthday post. But I would have included them anyway! He just said them better. :)

26 October 2010

The Crash Site


All I wanted to do on the 21st was to go to the crash site. In the days after the crash, the NTSB workers offered to show family members the wreckage. A few people went, but I could not.

I've played that denial card to varying degrees for far too long. And so one year later, I wanted to stand in that very spot at 4:09 PM MST. I wanted to see it for myself, and let reality sink in.

The drive to the airport was sweet. I laughed as I realized none of my makeup was waterproof.

When we got there, I looked at those rocks first. To this day, I don't understand why they are there. It's been explained that their purpose is to reinforce the dirt road. Genius, right?

And then I turned to my left and saw it.

I looked over at runway 3-6 and couldn't help but feel proud of him.
Ben really had been just a few feet shy of a different outcome. He loved when he could "paint the lines" on the runway with his landing gear. He'd post video on FB of those smooth, centered landings. This could have been one of them. But it wasn't.

Sometimes engine failure, a faulty fuel line, an unexpected headwind, and some up-sloped rocks prove to be too much.

I will always be grateful that I was able to go to the site one year later. It was one of those few clear moments in life. Those moments when I knew without doubt that I was supposed to be exactly where I was, exactly when I was there.

And when we got in the car to leave for the cemetery, I couldn't help but smile more...

Forever it's you, forever in me. Ever the same.

08 September 2010

When 'Thank You' doesn't feel like enough...


Dear Anonymous,

I don't know how to express the gratitude I feel. Tears well each time I have thought of this. For this situation, words are inadequate.

Thank you for loving Ben. Thank you for being such a good friend to Ben when he was here. Thank you for continuing to be that same friend.

Thank you for loving me, and our little family. Thank you for sparing me the expense. Thank you for affording me the time to get this done, when I could be clear-headed and emotionally ready.

Although my attempt is feeble, please know your generosity will not be forgotten. With all my heart, thank you.

Love,
Ginny




The back story:

In November I started feeling pressure (from Ben's side) to have a marker completed. I found this more than distressing. Denial was serving me well. The mere thought of seeing Ben's name in the ground was enough to elicit a panic attack.

How do you convey someone's life and love on a slab of granite??
How do you represent what they meant to those who love them?
Or the impact they left on everyone they knew?

A family friend who wishes to stay anonymous (to me especially), donated the money to have Ben's grave marker completed. They left it for me to do when I was ready.

In July, I was ready. Remember that Girls' Weekend with T. Thorpe?
The marker was finally set over his grave last week.

More thank yous'...
Thank you to T. Thorpe, for the moral support while I made the last decisions & the photos sent!
Thank you to Lizzie B, for more moral support & the leg work it took to have everything finalized.

'Thank you' really isn't enough.
I'm a lucky girl.

18 August 2009

The Big 3-Ohh!!


It is so hard to believe that Ben turns 30, today! It's even harder to believe that when we met we were all of 19 & 23! And here we are...almost 7 years later, married with 2 beautiful girls. He has so many admirable qualities. In celebration of this milestone, I have decided to compile a list.

Here it is...

30 Reasons Why I Love,
Benjamin Hill


1. One of Ben's first major selling points was that he is so easy to talk to. Our entire relationship would not have worked otherwise. We met over the phone and our first conversation lasted for over an hour...and neither of us were "phone people." Serious!

2. I have always loved Ben's confidence. When we eventually met in person (in the parking lot of his apartment complex), he walked with a strong sense of purpose and made eye contact with me right away. There was absolutely no hesitation or nervousness...and I adored him for it!

3. Ben has always been chivalrous. I almost never have to open a door or pull out a chair. When we were dating he did 100% of the pursuing, and always paid for everything. Always.

4. I love how sentimental he is! He is the only guy I've ever dated that picked out "our song." The songs he chose (completely on his own) were Where Are You Going--Dave Mathews Band & I Wish You Were Here--Incubus. But really, he is sentimental over a lot of little things, and it has always meant a lot to me.

5. I also love how family oriented he is. When we were dating, he would drop everything to help his siblings. He was always concerned about his three little sisters. I knew that when he had a family of his own, he would be an involved husband & father.

6. Ben is surprisingly sweet. He has a way of doing things for me when I least expect it, and when I need it most. So many examples of this instantly come to mind. (Maybe I'll post about them all later...or not :)) I just love that he is full of little surprises that remind me how much he cares.

7. He is such a good daddy! He was absolutely meant to be a daddy of little girls. Jocee and Sophie have him wrapped around their little fingers. He is always mindful of them.


8. He is always looking for ways to spend time with the girls. Most recently, he has been trying to teach Jocee how to fly fish. Every morning she asks Ben, "Daddy and Jocee go fishing??!"


9. Ben is an amazing friend. He will help his friends in any way that he can (I.E. car trouble, moving, etc...). Most of all: He is my best friend!

10. I have always loved how Ben is not judgmental or critical of others. There have been times when I thought that he should be. But instead, he tries to be understanding and see the best in people.

11. I can honestly say that he never gossips. Never. He simply doesn't care to discuss other people's shortcomings or unfortunate situations.

12. Ben is an amazing pilot! Flying planes is not just something that he does for a living, it's something that he excels at. He definitely has found his niche. I am so happy that he gets to do something that he is so passionate about, as a means of supporting our family.




13. When it comes to politics, we are on the same page. Ben has said, "I am not a Democrat. I am not a Republican. I am an American, and I want my country back." --I could not agree more!


14. Ben is articulate. He has no problem expressing himself, and always seems to know the best way to say things.

15. Ben is thrifty. Somehow he is always able to find what he wants at a third of the normal price. I never have to worry too much when he buys a new toy, or takes on a new hobby, because I know that he shopped around for months before he made a decision.

16. Ben is a total guy's guy! Everything that he enjoys is stereotypically masculine, and I love it!


17. Ben is extremely down-to-earth. He doesn't think that he is better than anyone. He never has to have the state-of-the-art, best of anything. He's not concerned with appearances.

18. He makes me feel safe.


19. Ben is innovative. If he can't find something that he wants, he'll find a way to make it himself. There have been times when he'll think of something and just create it. Sometimes I wonder if something he has invented will get patented.

20. Ben likes to be prepared. He thought of food storage and 72-hour kits first. He continually looks for ways to keep us ready for anything.

21. He is smart, in every sense of the word.

22. Ben has a very hands-on personality. He learns best when he can physically do something. He enjoys anything that allows him to use his hands.

23. Ben is a people person. Almost everyone likes him. He has a way of putting people at ease.

24. Ben is a chance-taker. While this is something that often drives me crazy, I do admire his ability to access risk and make decisions quickly. If he makes mistakes, they are simply lessons learned for next time.


25. Ben is always looking for ways to improve himself. His latest effort has been giving up caffeine, completely. This is huge! I've always though Dr. Pepper (among other beverages) would just be something that he always drinks. For now, he has kicked the habit! Hopefully the health benefits will be enough for him to continue the trend.

26. He has always been supportive of me, and what I want to do. Most recently I have wanted to go back to school. Ben is currently in the process of helping me figure out all that needs to be done to pursue this goal.

27. Being married to Ben has opened me up to new experiences that I would not have had otherwise. I'm a girly girl to the core, and he has successfully taken me out of my comfort zone on several occasions.



28. I adore his sense of humor!

29. He has the best laugh ever! It's infectious. Watching a funny movie or TV show is not complete without him by my side.

30. And lastly, (BUT definitely NOT least)...he is really really, ridiculously good looking.

Happy Birthday, Love!!

Love,
Ginny