Nothing made him happier.

He'd gush to anyone who would listen. He'd tell you how much he loved being a dad, how it was the best thing to ever happen to him, how he had the sweetest girls ever.

I took this one on Terisa's wedding day. Jocee was four months old. He was watching her so that I could get ready that morning. They fell asleep watching kiddie shows on PBS.

Jocee was seven months in this one... He had bought her that outfit while I was pregnant, and was so happy when she was old enough to wear it. This was just one of those sweet, lazy Saturday mornings.



Not a Saturday morning. But I remember taking it. Jocee always got so excited when he came home from work.



This was right after we had moved from Lehi to Springville. He had obviously just come home from work. Oh my gosh, how I miss that.

The day after Sophie was born... I have another with Jocee just like it.

I will never stop wishing that they had more time with their Daddy.
One of my main concerns for this life, is that they have a genuine understanding of just how much they are loved, adored, and looked after by him. I will never speak of his love for them in the past tense. This kind of love never goes away.

To: The Best Daddy

There's not a day that goes by that we don't think of you, talk about you, and miss you.

Happy Father's Day!!

We love you always.

Love,
Jocee & Sophie

Dear Me... (2)

I saw this video today, and loved it. Everyone should watch it and take it to heart.


But it got me wondering...
What if the current me, could talk to the younger me? What would I tell myself? Would I listen to me? I've already written one of those open letters to myself.

But what would I say to 16 year old me?

Hmm...

Dear 16 Year Old Me,

Congrats on getting your braces off! Now stop smiling like a barbie for just a moment, and listen to me!

Stop relaxing your hair. It's only going to end up a fried mess. Embrace your natural curls.

Embrace all of who you are. Those padded bras are uncomfortable, huh? Just stop wearing them now.

Here's a list of tools to avoid... [names not seen here to protect the innocent. :)]
Here's a list of NICE boys to give the time of day... [same story.]

Oh, in two years you're going to go off to college...across the country, in the middle of nowhere. You're going to be as indecisive as all get out. Just make writing your major. The medical field does not suit you, and you're not quite ready for new-agey yet either. Trust me on that one, k?

About 18 months after that you're going to meet an amazing man. You'll know he's the one because of how he adores you. He's going to want to marry you two months after you start dating. Don't second guess it.

He's not perfect. In fact, he'll totally screw up your first Mother's Day. But don't be too angry at him for that one! Please be sweet to him everyday you have him with you; especially when he drives you crazy.

He will spend everyday of the rest of forever making sure you feel his love for you.

The joy and love you'll experience as a mother can scarcely be described, and deserves a letter all it's own. Perhaps 40 Year Old Me will have more on that.

Oh, and bringing it back to melanoma... You're going to be tempted to visit those tanning beds way too much. DON'T DO IT! 27 Year Old Me still doesn't know what those 3 years are going to get you.

Love,
Ginny

I guess it's story time tonight!

So, I posted the other masterpiece before this one.
Then I checked FB real quick.
Lizzie B's status made me "lol" for real.

"Spilled beef stew ALL OVER the kitchen floor... the dogs are very happy!!"

Then I went and took a shower; and ended up laughing the whole time.
It reminded me of when I was all prego, and got to be clumsy with legit reason too.
And so I'm back!

Story time!!

December 2006
I was six months along with Jocee, and working 50 hours a week. Awesome. Ben only cooked on special occasions, so we ending up getting takeout a lot.

One night we went to Jason's Deli, because all I wanted was their tomato-basil soup. We had rented a movie, and were going to have dinner on the couch. For no real reason, that cup of soup slipped through my hands and sloshed all over the classy turquoise carpeting (turquoise) and down the side of the couch.

I felt lame, and mostly annoyed that I couldn't eat the soup anymore. I remember saying. "Oh my gosh! I am so sorry! I didn't mean to do that at all! WTF??" (Yes, I really said just the letters, "WTF" and not the whole thing.)

Ben: "It's cool, babe. This is totally normal. You're supposed to drop things."
Ginny: "Wait. What??"
Ben: "Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's in that What to Expect book."
Ginny: "How did you know this, and not me??"
Ben: "I don't know. You've been dropping stuff a lot."

Soo...I cleaned the mess while he got me more soup...

THEN...

August 2008
I was five months along with Sophie. Jocee was 15 months old, and always underfoot. I was cleaning the bathroom one morning, while she "helped." I went to screw the cap on the glass bottle of olive oil tighter, when it slipped out of my hands and shattered on the floor.

For maybe three seconds I panicked. Jocee was right next to me with little bare feet, and there was oil and glass all around us. Reflexively I balled my fists and let out a, "Ffffffffuuuu!!!!... Uhhh, hi!"

I had looked down mid F-bomb, and saw her big brown eyes looking up at me. She never heard the word. ;)

For weeks thereafter, Jocee would walk around shaking her fists and say, "Fffffff!!"
It really stuck with her...


Now I don't really have an excuse when I drop things.
But for 18 months of my life..I did!

:)

(Note: I had olive oil in the bathroom because I would use anything and everything to prevent stretch marks; IE: cocoa butter, vitamin E oil, Palmers, Shea butter...anything! I'd just use it all, and baste myself like a turkey twice a day. Maybe that's TMI, but whatev! :))

Mommy things I hope to never forget

Jocee
The shrill of her first cry.
How she hated to be swaddled.
Her chubby little legs.

Those big, brown doe eyes.

Her inherent love for music.

How eye contact was usually all it took to get her smiling. And a smile could make her giggle.

How her eyes would always follow me, if I wasn't holding her.

How "Mama" was her very first word.

That mild French accent she used when she first started talking.

How she'd beg us to sing with her as soon as she learned a song (like Itsy Bitsy Spider or ABCs). She still does that... :)


Sophie
The tenor of her first cry.
How she loved being swaddled.
How she was all feet when she was born.

That first moment when I recognized that she looked just like Daddy (at two weeks old).

How she'd babble herself to sleep.
How she adored her crib and naps.

How we could watch her study things intently, and know that she'd be a deep thinker.

How she sticks her tongue out, whenever she's lost in thought.

How she has always been the cuddliest.



I love those babies. Sometimes I kind of miss them.

25 Ben Things

Sometimes when I miss him extra, I'll go and read his FB profile. More often than not, it makes me laugh.

I've thought I should post his "25 random things" note for a while. It's totally Ben summed up in his own words. Priceless stuff.

And that whole copy&paste thing makes for an easy post. :)

I never read these things, or reply to them, but my wife would be so happy if I do, so I will do it.

1. Rule #1: Don’t trust anybody. The only exception to this rule is with family, and some close friends. This is not the paranoid untrusting (that’s another trait), but more in the sense that you can’t trust people to look out for anyone but themselves; and you are the only person that will genuinely do what is best for you and yours every time.
2. I am a complete cheap skate. If it isn’t on sale, closeout, overstock, or somehow the cheapest it can be possibly be found, I won’t buy it.
3. I really, genuinely, and with all sincerity…..don’t care about things that are not my responsibility. Apathy is the name of the game. I care deeply about my family and friends, but outside of that, I don’t give a rats. Don’t ask me to join a cause or crusade to save this, or help that, or vote for this or that. Please stop the Facebook invites.
4. I trout religiously. I have loved fishing as long as I can remember. In fact one of my earliest memories is of my dad taking me fishing; I think I was three or so. I had a clear fiberglass rod (the hexagonal kind) and I rallied a little Onchoryncus on a rooster tail spinner. I slipped into the water while fighting it, but I didn’t care. I keep a rod and reel in my car, just in case I get a chance.
5. I hate heat. I would rather it be -20 than anything over 80 degrees.
6. I love Utah, I really do. Now that it has been 17 years I don’t think of Oregon as home at all.
7. I find it funny how people think my job is so cool for all the wrong reasons. I love it because after 7 hours in the air dealing with those things that only another pilot would understand; Lockheed Martin FSS, trainee controllers, foreign students making 8 minute long flight following requests to the wrong freq while you are passing your IAF in actual without clearance, “unverified” traffic 12 o’clock opposite direction 2 miles; after all that kind of crap I get to watch sun go down on the snow covered Wasatch from 16,000 feet; no camera can take that picture.
8. I am not a democrat, I am not a republican, I am an American and I want my country back.
9. I am paranoid; it is a family trait. I will peek through the blinds at somebody parking across the street, even if I know who they are. When somebody knocks on the door, my first thought is “where is a gun?” not “Am I wearing pants?”
10. I hold a concealed firearm permit, and carry my pistol every day. I do so not so much because of number 9, but more because I firmly believe in the only valuable lesson I learned from the boy scouts, their motto.
11. I am mathematically challenged. Time, distance, and fuel burn I can do in my head quick and easy. Addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division I am ok with. Anything else, no good.
12. I keep titanium close to my heart
13. I am very interested in history. I am constantly amazed at how human kind as a whole fails to learn the lessons of the past.
14. Musically, I am very non-experimental. I can have the same CD in my car player for months and not get sick of it. Since about September it has been a compilation of Apocalyptica.
15. Books, oh man books. I haven’t had the time to read a book in months and its starting to drive me crazy. I will usually read a book and then give it away, only a few rare books have I read more than once.
16. I never give respect, no matter who the person is. My respect must be earned.
17. The best compliment I have ever been given was to be called articulate.
18. I remember details. I can quote books word for word, but probably could not tell you what part of the book it was from, sometimes not even what book it came from. Though I can tell you whether it was on the left or right page and if it was top, middle, or bottom of the page.
19. Mountains; something in me must have them.
20. I am a procrastinator when it comes to school work. I can’t do anything until the deadline looms.
21. I have been accused of being a good friend; showing up to help someone move, helping out when someone is in a bind, even burying one.
22. I love my brothers and sisters; they are some of my best friends.
23. When I found out I would be the father of a little girl the first thing I did was buy a shotgun; keep the boys at bay.
24. My daughters are the most incredible little girls. I love them heart and soul. If my Jocee cries, I cry. If my Sophie is sick, I cry. If I am away for more than a few hours I miss them terribly. It makes me so happy to see the way they react when I come home. Jocee is in a bad mood if she hasn’t had enough dad time in a day. Sophie smiles when I talk to her. They are my life’s greatest accomplishment.
25. My Ginny is my best friend.

Sooo...yes, I did use some of those things for that 30th birthday post. But I would have included them anyway! He just said them better. :)

The Name Game

Jocee approached me today...

Jocee: "Mommy, how you know my name?"
Me: "Your name? I gave you your name!"
Jocee: "You gave my name for me?? Thanks, Mom!"

(She went on to talk to herself...)
"Mommy gave my name...for me!"

I was taken aback by her gratitude. She was genuinely appreciative. As soon as she said those words, I wanted to correct myself. I wanted to say, "No, Jocee. I only gave you half your name." But I thought that might be too much to understand.

In reality, Ben had chose both their names. He took the responsibility of naming our children seriously, and made sure to be very involved in the process.

Jocelyn Michelle
June 2004
We went on a lot of camping trips during the first summer after we got married. We couldn't sleep one night. Out of boredom, around 2:00am we started talking about baby names. For a boy, we quickly agreed on Michael Joseph (my dad's name). For a girl, I really liked the name Brooklyn. Ben completely disagreed. After a few other suggestions, I asked if he liked any girls names that ended with -lyn.

He thought for a minute, and told me he always liked the name Jocelyn. To him, it was uncommon and feminine. I remember liking it, too. But we couldn't think of a nick-name for it.

August 2006
When we first found out I was pregnant, I started thinking of middle names to pair Jocelyn with. One day I thought of Michelle. Ben loved it immediately, and wouldn't discuss middle names any further. We had figured it out.

November 2006
When we found out this baby was in fact a girl, I really wanted to think of a nick-name for her. I desperately wanted Josie, but Ben wanted Jossy. I got upset one day, and told him that if he wanted to call our baby Jossy, then we'd have to come up with a different name all together.

He then explained that the only reason he wouldn't agree to Josie, was because it looked too much like Jose. And since the dots on his I's can sometimes look like accent marks, he felt he was setting his little girl up for a lifetime of ridicule.
(Not even joking.)

I offered to compromise with a different spelling. We went through a variety of options. When I came up with Jocee, he agreed right away. It was set in stone.


Sophia Leigh
Ben chose this name completely on his own. We started talking about another baby when Jocee was 7 months old. After going through dozens of girls names (no exaggeration), I was about to give up. One day I pulled up a baby name website, and looked at the top 10 girl names for 2006. He pointed to Sophia, and said that he liked it. I was pretty reluctant, but after all of my rejected names, I agreed.

July 2008
After we found out baby #2 was a girl, I wasn't looking forward to choosing a middle name.

I liked...
Sophia Racquel (a flat out no)
Sophia Madelyn ("too French-ish")
Sophia Christine (too close to Christina)
Sophia Elizabeth (Crystal's middle name)
Sophia Emily (I was reminded of Emily. Thanks again, BTW!)
Sophia Elise (too similar to Alyse-another option for a first name)

And then I gave up! At that point I was starting to feel jealous of women who have husbands that aren't as involved as Ben.
I'm not sure how he thought of Leigh, but I was just happy that he made a decision.


In Short:
While Ben may have annoyed me at the time, I adore the concern that he had for our little girls. When they are old enough, I will tell them this story. They will know that Daddy loves them. They will know that Daddy was mindful of them before they were born, that he is still mindful of them, and that no earthly circumstance will ever change that.

3 Years Ago

In February of 2007, I was in my third trimester with Jocelyn. I was working 50 hours a week while Ben was preparing for his CFI check-ride. We were busy all the time, and I was starting to feel ragged from working so much.

I came home one day, after working 10 hours, and collapsed on the couch. Ben propped my feet up and sat next to me. He pointed out a loose string on the tank top I was wearing. When I pulled the string the hem and straps came completely unraveled. Instantly I was in tears!

Me: "I'm so sick of being FAT!!"
Ben: "Oh, Ginny you're only big in your tummy."
Me: "No! I'm fat everywhere, and now all my clothes are falling apart!"
Ben: "We'll get you new clothes."
Me: "No! What's the point?! I only have a few weeks left now! And I'm just too tired to go shopping! My back hurts so bad! Everything hurts all the time!"
Ben: "Your Benny is going to fix this. I'll get clothes for you. What size are you?"
Me: "Size 'Huge!' Size 'Are you having twins?!' Size 'Are you overdue?!"
Ben: "Okay. I'm going to guess...Small. I'll be right back! Benny will make it all better."

He had gone to Target, and when he came back he had a bag full of maternity clothes. There were shirts, tank tops, and pants. I was surprised at the effort he went to. He had put a lot of thought into it, and got things that I wouldn't mind wearing.

In the following weeks I was so grateful to him. I couldn't thank him enough. And he was pretty proud of himself. He'd smile and complement me on how cute I looked in the new clothes. THEN....I eventually got so big that only his t-shirts would fit... But he was always more than happy to help.

I look back at all of the things Ben did to take care of me, (pregnant or not) and I am overwhelmed with gratitude to him and for him.

Photography by Crystal

Friday was another difficult day.
The finality of our mortal circumstances will always bring tears to my eyes.

Family brought cameras.
We felt it was important to have something to show the girls when they're older.

Sophie was asleep for most of it.
But Crystal got some adorable shots of Jocee.
This little girl and her sister bring such light and strength to my life during seemingly somber times.

I love my sisters!
(All 6 of them!)

Sophie is 11 Months!

This adorable little girl will turn one year old in exactly one month!


There is too much I could say about her.
Her sweetness brings tears to my eyes.
I am eternally grateful that she is part of our family.


We love our Little Miss Leigh!

Little Buggy

Sophie is now 9 months old!
Recently I realized that I haven't posted much about her since she turned 6 months old. She has grown and progressed so much within the last 3 months. Her cute personality is manifesting more and more each day.
It's time for another Sophie update!

At 7 months she started babbling, and has not stopped since! True to form, her first word was "Daddy." She also clearly says "Baby!" while holding Jocee's dolls & "Yay!!" while clapping. She is definitely going to be an early talker.

At 8 months Sophie finally started crawling! And when I went to get her this morning, she was standing in her crib! She has been pulling herself up on things (and trying to climb) all day today.--I love it! She has been doing things about 2 months later than Jocee did, but we are in no rush!

We love that she is so different from her big sister. Here are some of Sophie's cute quirks that we love...

• Sophie LOVES to cuddle.
• She gives hugs all the time!
  
• She likes to be tickled, and will grab people's hands so that they can tickle her.
• She is always trying to keep up with Jocee.
• Sophie wants to do anything that her big sister is doing, and tries to mimic her all the time!
  

• She is such a happy baby & laughs all the time!
• She has the cutest little sense of humor.
  

• Sophie LOVES playing with dolls! (Partially to mimic what Jocee does.)
• She loves playing with Jocee.
  
• Watching the two of them interact is priceless.
  

Of course, I could add so much more to this list. Sophie is such an amazing little girl! We love that she is so different from her big sister. Getting to know her personality is such a joy.

It's so hard to believe that she will be ONE in less than 3 months!
I want to savor each new phase as it comes!

I Love When This Happens...

Hand-me-downs!!

(Jocee, 7 months old)


(Sophie, 7 months old)

Since our girls were born during completely different seasons (April & November), Sophie can't always take advantage of all the cute clothes that Jocee got to wear. Ben picked this one shirt out while I was pregnant with Jocelyn.
(He actually had picked out an entire outfit with coordinating pea coat. But alas, pea coats aren't necessary in the month of June!)

Side note: Ironically Ben is also wearing the same t-shirt in both photos! It's probably not the exact same shirt... He just really likes Hanes! haha)

5 Years & 2 Kids Later....

It's so hard to believe how fast 5 years can go by! Ben and I have had some good, bad, happy, sad, miraculous, devastating, breathtaking, overwhelming, laughable, hectic, crazy moments throughout! It hasn't always been easy or stress-free. But there is no one else I'd want to go through it all with!

Here's just a little bit of our history, in pictures!

2003:
We met in January via the telephone. I was going to school in Idaho (of all places!) and he was living and going to school in Utah. He called my roommate, I answered the phone, and the rest is history! Long story, short... We worked the long distance thing quite well!

Ben came out to Boston in October to ask my dad if he could marry me. We're traditional like that!

2004:
Wedding planning. Need I say more?

21 May 2004
It was such a perfect day!

In retrospect I would have changed only 2 things:
1. Wore heals like everyone else...instead of flip flops!

2. Rented the prettier chairs for the reception!

But everything was perfect!!

2005:

I couldn't find any pictures of us in 2005!! It was a crazy year though! Ben switched his major from biology/pre-med to aviation. We were both really busy with work and school. There was a trip to Yellowstone, but we forgot our camera... and my makeup! Oh well.

2006:
An even crazier year! I switched jobs twice. Ben was really busy trying to finish school as quickly and efficiently as possible.

(21 May 2006)
We started off our third year of marriage with another trip to Yellowstone.
Then in August we were "surprised" with the news that our little family was going to be expanding in April, 2007!

(19 weeks)

In November we found out that this new addition was a GIRL!!

2007:
The majority of 2007 was spent preparing for and adjusting to having a baby.

Jocelyn Michelle was born on April 6th at 9:46 am! She tipped the scales, weighing in at 8 lbs, 11 oz (& 21.5 inches long)! Yeah, a c-section was definitely the best choice!


2008:
After exactly one conversation in February, we agreed to purposely add to our current family of three (not thinking our efforts would be rewarded right away). Ha! On the 9th of March we found out that we'd be having another baby in November.

After a trip to see family in Boston, we found out that we were having another sweet little girl!

Sophia Leigh arrived 12 days early, on November 5th at 6:03 pm. She was quite a bit smaller, weighing 7 lbs, 9 oz (& only 19 inches long).


2009:
Thus far, we have celebrated Jocee's 2nd birthday. Sophie is growing like a weed. Ben works a lot (and loves what he does). And I get to hang out with the littles all day!

We love our girls and we love each other!
The end.

Ps.. For pictures taken in 2009, just read our previous posts! Re-posting the same pictures just seemed redundant.