Because I just happened to be up at 6:00 am...

Kate's dress was timeless perfection.

William is looking too, too much like his dad.



And that's my take on history in the making!

Can we move on with our lives now??

Yay, Genetics!!

Back in high school I used to go to Washington DC with a group of friends. We'd usually try for once or twice a year.

When I was 15, we went for the 4th of July. We were walking around that day, before the fireworks, and we ended up outside of the Pentagon. My friend Marci started talking to some official guy in a uniform. She was asking him all kinds of knowledgeable questions...

In all seriousness I asked, "So why do they call it the Pentagon anyway??"

That guy just kinda gave me a baffled look.

So I asked again, "No. Seriously, I want to know."

Some guy that was with us (I can't remember his name anymore) just put his arm around me , and said, "You'll have to forgive her. She's blonde."

I just knew something simple, and maybe painfully obvious was flying over my head.

The answer to my very blonde moment question, came to me days later on the ride home. I felt a little foolish, but mostly glad that my hair got the blame...


Anyway, today while I made the girls' lunch, I started laughing to myself at the memory. When my mom asked what was funny, I told her the story.

Her response: "Okay. So why do they call it the Pentagon??"


Yup. I get it from my mom!!

Easter '11

Love,
The Hill girls


P.S. Real photos will be postponed this year! Jocee has a super fun case of Pink Eye! Naturally, she was thrilled; until she realized she needed eye drops. I've been pretty kick-A at making sure it doesn't get spread. Knock on wood for me, peeps!!

(Get it?? Hahhh...)
Yes, I know that was painfully cheesy.

:)

I guess it's story time tonight!

So, I posted the other masterpiece before this one.
Then I checked FB real quick.
Lizzie B's status made me "lol" for real.

"Spilled beef stew ALL OVER the kitchen floor... the dogs are very happy!!"

Then I went and took a shower; and ended up laughing the whole time.
It reminded me of when I was all prego, and got to be clumsy with legit reason too.
And so I'm back!

Story time!!

December 2006
I was six months along with Jocee, and working 50 hours a week. Awesome. Ben only cooked on special occasions, so we ending up getting takeout a lot.

One night we went to Jason's Deli, because all I wanted was their tomato-basil soup. We had rented a movie, and were going to have dinner on the couch. For no real reason, that cup of soup slipped through my hands and sloshed all over the classy turquoise carpeting (turquoise) and down the side of the couch.

I felt lame, and mostly annoyed that I couldn't eat the soup anymore. I remember saying. "Oh my gosh! I am so sorry! I didn't mean to do that at all! WTF??" (Yes, I really said just the letters, "WTF" and not the whole thing.)

Ben: "It's cool, babe. This is totally normal. You're supposed to drop things."
Ginny: "Wait. What??"
Ben: "Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's in that What to Expect book."
Ginny: "How did you know this, and not me??"
Ben: "I don't know. You've been dropping stuff a lot."

Soo...I cleaned the mess while he got me more soup...

THEN...

August 2008
I was five months along with Sophie. Jocee was 15 months old, and always underfoot. I was cleaning the bathroom one morning, while she "helped." I went to screw the cap on the glass bottle of olive oil tighter, when it slipped out of my hands and shattered on the floor.

For maybe three seconds I panicked. Jocee was right next to me with little bare feet, and there was oil and glass all around us. Reflexively I balled my fists and let out a, "Ffffffffuuuu!!!!... Uhhh, hi!"

I had looked down mid F-bomb, and saw her big brown eyes looking up at me. She never heard the word. ;)

For weeks thereafter, Jocee would walk around shaking her fists and say, "Fffffff!!"
It really stuck with her...


Now I don't really have an excuse when I drop things.
But for 18 months of my life..I did!

:)

(Note: I had olive oil in the bathroom because I would use anything and everything to prevent stretch marks; IE: cocoa butter, vitamin E oil, Palmers, Shea butter...anything! I'd just use it all, and baste myself like a turkey twice a day. Maybe that's TMI, but whatev! :))

Only Jocee!

Jocee loves looking through our wedding photos.
I let her see them whenever she asks.
The other day she saw this one, and sighed...

Jocee: Oh, Mommy! That was when you and Daddy had your wedding...
Mommy: Yep, it is.
Jocee: You look so beautiful, Mommy! Like a princess!
Mommy: Really?? Thank you, Chicky. Which one? Cinderella?
Jocee: No, Sleeping Beauty! Why didn't Flora turn your dress pink?
Mommy: Umm... I wanted it to be white.
Jocee: You should have let her make it pink for you. Don't let Maryweather make it blue. K?
Mommy: I promise I won't.


I love the way that girly girl thinks.
:)

18 Months

I remember when I was living by the minute; when thinking 18 days ahead of me just couldn't be done. Sometimes I would wonder where I was going to be at the 18 month mark, but that was usually followed by the beginnings of a panic attack (and lots of deep breathing). Just remembering that shock and heartache brings tears to my eyes. I never want to feel like that again, and yet I hope to never ever forget it.

BUT I'm not there anymore. (Remember? :))

I've been slowly building myself up from ground zero. Where I am right now is such a better place to be. It's a huge deal; one worth celebrating. Sure, I might be a little more flighty (and a lot more new-agey), but I'm more grounded at the same time too.

For so long I haven't been able to see very far ahead of me. I remember posting about plans being useless. They just get..."put on hold." This moment is all that matters, and I still believe that. But guess what?? I'm starting to make those plans again, and it's freeing; not scary. The future is brightening again. Going back to school feels doable (and exciting). Single parenting doesn't feel as daunting. There are so many unknowns, but they don't feel intimidating anymore.

I feel myself growing into more of what I've always meant to be (knowing I'm not totally there yet either). I only wish that Ben got to see some of it during his lifetime. I catch myself still apologizing to him for the other me; for depending on him so much, for expecting inhuman things.

The hurt is still there. Little things can still creep up and blindside me. Like two weeks ago when I broke down, as I realized just how much I miss his feet. He seriously had (/has) the cutest, perfect feet... And I miss the way he thought mine were cute too. But those moments aren't derailing anymore. I don't have to post about it as much. It's a lot like T. Thorpe said, "You won't ever get over the grief. You'll just learn how to manage it."

So today it has been 18 months. It's a big milestone, and I feel okay. I'm not a useless lump of human stuck on autopilot. The best part is knowing how proud he is of me. I feel him smiling at me, sometimes laughing with me. He's still my very best friend.

I'm going to continue to make him smile. I'm going to be the mother our babies deserve. I'm going to become the me that I've been meaning to be. And I'm going to be happy doing it.

(Note to anyone who gets this: Today's hawk count: 5!!)

I love Ben.
:)

Mommy things I hope to never forget

Jocee
The shrill of her first cry.
How she hated to be swaddled.
Her chubby little legs.

Those big, brown doe eyes.

Her inherent love for music.

How eye contact was usually all it took to get her smiling. And a smile could make her giggle.

How her eyes would always follow me, if I wasn't holding her.

How "Mama" was her very first word.

That mild French accent she used when she first started talking.

How she'd beg us to sing with her as soon as she learned a song (like Itsy Bitsy Spider or ABCs). She still does that... :)


Sophie
The tenor of her first cry.
How she loved being swaddled.
How she was all feet when she was born.

That first moment when I recognized that she looked just like Daddy (at two weeks old).

How she'd babble herself to sleep.
How she adored her crib and naps.

How we could watch her study things intently, and know that she'd be a deep thinker.

How she sticks her tongue out, whenever she's lost in thought.

How she has always been the cuddliest.



I love those babies. Sometimes I kind of miss them.

Handyman

Sometimes I'm afraid I'm turning into a guy...

I kill spiders all by myself.

I know the difference between a Phillips head and a flat head. (Phillips was a genius.)

I figure out electronic and computer stuff completely on my own.

I open really tight jars, without even thinking to ask for the help of man hands.

I can do very, very minor car work (as opposed to none before).

I can restring a guitar.

I can put stuff together (following directions).

Garmin never leads me astray.

I can fix so many random things. It may not be done using the traditional method, or the method that makes the most sense, but I work it out.

And so because I'm practically a guy...I totally need these....

Because I'm hardcore now.

;)

My Two Girls

So, I have these two girls...

They love to shop.

They both know exactly what they want, every single time.

One little chicky always gravitates towards reptiles (I.E. snakes, frogs, lizards, dinosaurs--whatever!) without fail.

And if I happen to lose track of the other...

She comes equipped with pink radar.

If there's any pink to be had, she'll find it.



Anyway, they're the sweetest that I know!
:)

Love.

The Jocee Quirks

It's so hard to believe that the perfect (not so) little 8 lb, 11 oz baby girl who turned me into a mother, is 4 years old today! Watching her grow into herself is complete joy. There are so many qualities that are unique to her.

And so, here is a list of my very favorite "Jocee Quirks"...
:)

• Jocee loves the dark. Nothing about it scares her. She refuses to sleep with a nightlight on.

• She loves music more than anyone I know. She sings all day long.
  

• She can recall song lyrics perfectly after hearing a song just once. In fact, she's better at this than I am! I have to be extra mindful when the radio is on, because she rarely ever gets words wrong. :)

• Just like Daddy, Jocee is becoming a trivia master. She soaks in all the little facts that she learns, and shocks people with how much she knows about something random.
  

• She is determined to learn how to use chopsticks perfectly. She tries using them when eating anything (even snow... :)).
  

• She is a total backseat driver! She has an opinion to share with whomever is driving. Haha!

• She is acutely observant! Absolutely nothing gets past her, and she's always willing to call people out. :)
  

• This sweet girl is resilient; perhaps the most resilient person I know. She has lost so much, and seems to understand far more than someone her age should have to. And yet she handles it all with astounding maturity and patience.
  

Oh, how I love this girl! She has added such dimension and meaning to my life. The opportunity to be her mother is an absolute blessing. There aren't words enough to express my gratitude for her.


Happy birthday, Jocelyn Michelle!!
Mommy & Daddy love you!

The Rundown

Now that I've actually unpacked my suitcase, and done my laundry...

That trip was so fun! I miss it. (And because I miss it, I'm going to ramble on and on about it! ;))

Before I left I decided on two things.
1. I was going to take every opportunity to try new things.
2. I was going be semi-nomadic and stay with different people. (Ben Franklin did say, "Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days." True enough! )


So, I landed in CA around 1:30 on Friday, the 11th.

My cute aunt, Mary and her hubby, Ben took me on a tour around the Loma Linda University medical school. He teaches there, and has written text books. Impressive, huh? They showed me everything...even the cadavers. (NOTE: I was super proud of myself. The last time I saw a cadaver was almost 10 years ago. Back then I ran out of the room, threw up, and dropped my anatomy&physiology class. True story.)

Then we went out to eat with my cute cousin Linda. After that, Linda took me to Trader Joe's, where we discovered that we like all the same vegan foods. Who knew? Love it!!


On Saturday I went to church with Linda, and then we went horseback riding with her friend, Julie. (Again I was proud of myself. The last time I was on a horse, I was 13. That horse fell with me on him, bruising my left left leg and breaking my left ring finger. It's still crooked...) I stayed on the horse the whole time; despite the crazy trails and steep drops. I kept my eyes closed a lot!

We saw hawks...

and found their feathers (thanks to Julie!).

Love. :)

Later we had dinner with Mary and Ben.

When we got back to Linda's we Yogaed (yes, it's a noun turned verb now)...and laughed hysterically at the instructor guy!

On Sunday we all went to Disney Land for my second time ever (and took absolutely no photos)! It was fabulous, but I don't know how people do it with kids. Speaking of... I totally got offered the kids menu at the Blue Bayou!! And of course I ordered from it! Perfect portion size. I remember back in high school when the kids menu was a complete insult. And now I wish it to happen more often... Ha! It was a fun day. :)

Mary and Ben dropped me off at the airport early Monday morning. I was so sad to leave.

When I got to Salt Lake I ended up renting the ugliest silver Pontiac I've ever seen in my life! At first glance I wanted to cry, but I had to laugh! It was a good conversation starter in mall parking lots. Haha

I stayed with Terisa and Warren on Monday and Tuesday.... Terisa and I were soo happy Brad picked Emily! A cute little blonde widow is a way better option over a divorcee with a boob job. Just sayin'!

Tuesday I went to lunch with my FB friend, Jaime O. (That'll be her blogging alias.) And now we're real-life-friends. She's darling; love her!

On Wednesday I finally got to see T.Thorpe! She was in the process of moving to Iowa. Anyway (like I mentioned before) we went for Reiki massages, hit up our favorite health food store, binged on soy ice cream, and laughed much---just our much needed usual!

I was so sad to leave her on Thursday. But Jared took me to dinner, and that was fun. Although I was not offered the kids menu. [Sigh.] Ego, crushed. ;) Anyway, I stayed with my sister in Sandy, for a widows/ers conference.

That conference was on Friday and Saturday. I had been on the fence about attending, but decided to go at the last minute. I was glad I did! It was really fun to meet new people in similar situations. And to finally meet others who I felt like I already knew was good too. :)

On Saturday T. Thorpe texted to tell me that they had officially left state borders. Suddenly Utah became a lonelier place. Soo I blew off the "workshops" and went shopping with my cute (also now real-life-) friend Katie.

By Sunday I realized I was tired and did a lot of nothing.

On Monday I got all my hair chopped off, because you cannot get a bad haircut in UT. My hair is now the shortest it's ever been (shoulder length). I went to lunch with Sara in Salt Lake, and then went back to Springville one last time; to clean a marker that shouldn't look so neglected.

On Tuesday...I went back to my littles. I missed them so much.

The end.