The First Two Years

My parents met in Salt Lake City... She was from Thousand Oaks, California (attending LDS Business College), and he was from Sharon, Massachusetts (working for a friend's coin selling business). They met at their singles ward. Pretty cliche.

Every time they go to Salt Lake, nostalgia overtakes them. I remember when my dad took me out to Idaho for the first time. We spent a day in SLC. It seemed so important to him to show me everything he could. He showed me their first apartment building, the mall Mom shopped at, Crown Burger, Ensign Peek.... At the time I was annoyed. Why was he so enthusiastic about a place they spent only 3 years at??

Years later when my parents came out to visit us, I teased my dad about their usual site-seeing. His response always stuck with me. "Ginny, this is where we started out. Who knows? Maybe one day you and Ben will look back on your time here in Utah, and feel the way we do."

At the time I disagreed completely. We were living in a small two-bedroom apartment in Orem. I was working at an awful call center while Ben was trying to finish flight school. We had future hopes of Oregon (him) or Northern California (me). In my mind there would be nothing to miss. Our future was bright and full of promise.


And now, four years later, Dad was right.

I miss that little apartment.
(turquoise carpeting, drafty widows, loud upstairs neighbors, and all)
I miss running mundane errands together.
I miss him surprising me with lunch at work.
I miss cuddling on our couches when they were new.
I miss coming home to unexpected peach roses or Gerber daisies.
I miss the way he would quote movies for days after we rented them.
I miss those days when we were soo tired that we fell asleep in bed by 8:00.

I miss all of it....the good, and the bad alike.
Because really, the sad wasn't that awful, and the happy was euphoric.

I'd give anything to go back to those years. Lately it's all I think about each night as I try to fall asleep. And yet, at that time I was so consumed with wanting more. I doubt I ever fully appreciated how sweet my life was.

I will never make this mistake again. I couldn't if I tried. That idealistic part of me that wanted everything perfect is now gone. It's a lesson learned the really really really hard way.