Don't judge me, but...

• I find that monologue that Paul Rudd gives Reese Witherspoon about Play-Doh at the end of How Do You Know kind of inspirational.

• my celebrity crush is Paul Rudd.   He can do no wrong.

• Adam Sandler too...  But only in Big Daddy and Just Go With It.

• I completely relate to This is 40. 

• that club scene really resonates...(along with the rest of it).  Perfection.

• sometimes I forget simple words and spend way too much time trying to describe them.  For example, on my parents' 31st wedding anniversary I said, "You know that thing?? That word... Where you get married and then you celebrate it every year--Congrats on that!" Real life.

• I kind of hate that I use big words in everyday conversations.  I have to consciously try to use more normal/simple words.  WTF is that?!

• I often get an urge to comment on chronically whiny statuses.  Sometimes I'll type a snarky response and quickly delete it.  Someday that may backfire...

• I tried online dating once.  Never again. 

• salad is my most favorite food ever.  Almost any kind.  If a guy can handle this, he may get a second date.

• I've only recently developed my douche radar.  Live and learn!

• I kind of hope some of these guys have insecure girlfriends who go through their FB messages and texts.  That would be so epic... 

• Forever Young by Rod Stewart makes me cry.  I think of my kids.

• ^^That has happened in public.^^  Two weeks ago at Jocee's kindergarten presentation, her teacher used it for a slideshow.  I knew I was in for it as soon as the song started.

• I tear up on a daily basis---almost always because I'm happy or sentimental about something.

Actually, go ahead and judge me.  But don't get your panties in a bunch! ;) 

xo

New blawg??

I'm considering it.

Posting to this one feels so foreign now.  It's kind of like trying to resuscitate something.  I'd need to change things around a bit.

And if I start a new one, it won't be like a normal mommy blog.  I won't be braggy about my super fun life (it really is so fun now).  I'm sure posting pictures would be a rarity.  And they won't be edited.  Who has the time??  We are what we are.   

Things that might stop me...

1. Mommy-ness

2. School

3. School

4. Real life

5. Pinterest

6.  Every other form of social media that I may or may not have bashed at some point.

Maybe I will.

But if I do I'll post a link here, before I leave this one to fend for itself. (Jk...I'll get it bound in book for the chickies.  Then I'll leave it.)

On turning 30...

I love it.  

 When asked, I've been telling people, "I'm 30. Well, almost 30," for at least 10 months now.  It just couldn't come soon enough.  And I hope I'll be even more excited for 40.

But I did have a moment of introspection last week.

(and here's a post about it...)

 .....

In April of 2009, I got one of my most bestest ideas!  Ben was turning 30, and it couldn't just be like any other birthday.  30 felt like a big deal then too.  So I was watching TV by myself one night while he was away flying planes when the idea hit.  I was going to make a list of 30 qualities I loved about him!  But it wasn't going to be cheesy or random.  It was going to be sincere so that he knew how important he was.  I needed him to know how important and loved he was.

I think I wrote 25 things that night.  Over the next four months I fine tuned it...over and over and over.  I was so excited to give it to him.  As his birthday got closer, I wrote it in a letter (and rewrote it), and thought about maybe posting it to the blog.  It was SO hard to keep it a secret.

When I finally gave it to him (the night before--couldn't wait!), he said he loved it.  He told me it was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him.  He stayed up until midnight so that he could see the scheduled blog post.

.......

So here I am!!  I'm 30!!  Yayyyyy!!!!! :)

But there's no one to write a list of 30 things they love about me.  Wahhh.  Not really.  (I'm pretty sure Ben wouldn't write a list for me if he was here.  All good.)

More than that, do I even have 30 qualities to love??

Do I make a difference??

Do I give as much as I get??

 Do people know how important they are to me??

Do I help??

Do I leave people feeling better??

Do I uplift and encourage??

Do I show my love for others as much as I have it??

Am I worthy of being missed, like Ben-level missed??

I would like to think that all of the answers are a confident, "YES!!"

But I will assume I can do better.  I will use the time I have left here (hoping that it's considerable) to love more.

And if people make lists then, I hope I leave with at least 30 things on mine.

So my kid.

J: "Mommy, there is a commercial you should come watch. It's for a hair brush!!"

G: "Oh, you like that hair brush?"

J: "I think we need it. Look, it's a special brush."

...5 minutes later...

J: "Mommy you missed it. It was a good deal, because if you buy one you get the second one free--ANY STYLE."
G: "Oh my gosh."
J: "It's from Michel Mercier. Mer-see-ayyy. But I don't remember the phone number. Mommy, Michelle is my middle naaame!"
G: "I know!"
J: "Well, it's okay. We can watch TV tomorrow and get the phone number."

Meet my new BF, TED!!

Just kidding.

I don't even remember what exactly TED stands for.

I really love it though.  I love anything or anyone who reminds me that we're all connected; anything that makes me pause and think a little deeper or just step outside of myself.  I've found a bunch on Pinterest, or through a used-to-be SIL.  (Not sure what we are now, but I love her too.)

So in an effort to pay it forward...

Brene Brown changed my life (at a time when I was feeling emotionally exploited and wondering how I could stop being vulnerable)...  Just in time :)

(twice)

Elizabeth Gilbert and I should be real life friends...

Sarah Kay... Just, thank you! So much.

There are more.  But those are my current top three.

If you have the hour to spare, it'll be time well spent.

xo

Backup

So I don't really blog anymore, and I don't know if I will like I used to (circa 2010) ever again.

But I will say life is mostly good.  I'm the happiest I've been in a long time.  I could blog about those things, but right now I'm busy trying to create someone I thought I'd never be.---That's pretty awesome, too.  And I couldn't be more thrilled to turn 30 this month.  (Yay, birthday month!!)

Last month my anniversary made me nostalgic.  So on the eve of May 21st I found myself up late going through old photos and blog posts.  I came across a super embarrassing blog post; so bad that I might take it down.  Why did I write that?!

And then later in the week, I stumbled across this...

I'm not even sure how or why I found it.  But my views on her changed just a little.  She said everything I feel on that topic.  That clip could be me (minus 6 kids and whole lot of drama). Oh, that and instead of sitting at home, sometimes I find myself in clubs having "This is 40" moments. ;)

But, on a night like tonight...where's the backup??

For the record:
I won.

Four year olds don't get sweeter than this!

Umm...  This is an old, old draft.  I think I meant to upload pictures to it and forgot.  It made me laugh :)

She never forgets...
Jocee: Mommy, I'm glad you don't wear socks anymore.
Me: It's too hot for socks right now.
Jocee: No, you can't wear them. They're not good for you.
Me: [I just turned and looked at her, confused.]
Jocee: Remember, Mommy?? You fell.
Me: I didn't fall...
Jocee: Your socks were making you slip everywhere. So when you got me my milk you slipped across the floor and fell like, that [smacking the table for emphasis]. Over there...[pointing to the family room].
Me: Oh, that. You still remember that??
Jocee: [Nodding her head] You falled and slided. You screamed a little bit, too. Like, 'Eeee!'

Note: That was months ago; maybe March. She must think of me in the most flattering light. ;)


She's such a back seat driver!
Jocee: "Mommy! Red light! STOP!!"
Me: "Joce, I will when I get to there. It's far away."
Jocee: "Ooh! Hehe! Sorry!"
[Pause]
Jocee: "It just turned green! Don't stop!"
Me: "How's that Princess book you're not reading??"

She is always so forgiving.
Like the other day when I was getting ready to leave... Both girls where following me from one room to another. They wanted to "help" clean, put makeup on with me, and just be underfoot.

My patience was lacking, and I had been raising my voice too much. I started to feel bad.

Me: "Jocee, I'm sorry for being cranky. I haven't been very nice today. I will be nicer."
Jocee: "No, Mommy. You're nice of all."
Me: "Not today.."
Jocee: "There is nicer, nicest, and nice of all. You, are the nice of ALLLL."


She is fashion conscious.
Jocee: "Is this string supposed to be my sleeve?"
Me: "Yes...it's a strap. That's a tank top."
Jocee: "But it's so teeny..."
Me: "Do you not like it?"
Jocee: "Could you not buy me a sleeve?"

She sees the best in people.
Like when she introduces me to her little friends at the park...
"This is my Mommy. Her name is Ginny. Isn't she soo pretty?"


I love my Jocee M.